At least these people don't walk among us any more!!!

I received this from a co-worker this morning and had to post... I nearly fell out of my chair..as tears run down my face...




EIGHTH PLACE:

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.



SEVENTH PLACE

49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.



SIXTH PLACE :

Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones,
21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.



FIFTH Place :

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.



FOURTH Place :

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville , Del , as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. As Ron White often says: " You can't fix stupid." These people prove it is a terminal condition. As always, competition this year has been keen.



THIRD PLACE :

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington , DC appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:1. His target was H&J Leather &Firearms; A gun shop specializing in handguns.2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.



Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also drew and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire.



HONORABLE MENTION:

Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.



RUNNER UP:

TACOMA , WA . Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy salt water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham' s foot was never located.



AND THE WINNER..

Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged- up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!



Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves...



YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID...

Cruxshadows

I was in the car with a friend going to lunch and heard this song on the player... Caught my interest, so I had to ask. "Dude, who are we listening to?" Cruxshadows was the reply...

Interesting... A blend of new wave, gothic and electronica. Check them out.. Here is their "Official Website" http://www.cruxshadows.com/frame.html

Or my favorite video... Winterborn - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVNjx4k8mWk

Managing Your Email

I was talking with a friend this weekend about email and how people use it. Yes, I was bitching… So, here are a few tips that he and I came up with for people to manage their email.

Touch Each Message Only Once
Begin by instantly turning every message into an action. Drag the message either to the To-Do Bar or to the Calendar to make it part of your work. Dragging messages to either place creates a new item containing the text of the e-mail.

Second, delete it! Remove processed items from your Inbox after they're in the To-Do Bar or the Calendar. The best choice is to delete items. If you can't give up your attachment to past messages, move them to an archive folder where they won't distract you.

Need More Than 2 Minutes? Drag The Message To The To-Do Bar
If you have a group or various groups of people who may need to see and act on messages, keep track of them using contact categories. When you need to delegate tasks, you can address a single e-mail to all of the contacts in a single category by dragging that category to the Inbox

Automate Repetitive Tasks
In striving to touch each message only once, you may become aware that you send the same message repeatedly to many different people. The Quick Parts feature can help in that quest. Just select the text you want to use as a Quick Part, click the Quick Parts button under the Insert tab and choose Save Selection to Quick Part Gallery. To use a Quick Part, simply choose Quick Part and pick your message from the Gallery.

Don't Repeat Yourself; Address Everyone At Once
Organize your actions each day by dragging items from the To-Do Bar to the bottom of your daily calendar. This allows you to achieve balance between scheduled appointments and ongoing work. If you can do what a message requires in less than 2 minutes, just do it.

Try not to use BCC
If you are going to blind carbon copy someone, Don’t! After you send the original email to the person, use Forward to send the information to the other individual. This will also allow you to put in additional comments.

Do you really need to Reply to All
I don’t know how many times I have seen this. A message goes out to everyone one in the company or building about something important, like “your lights are on”. And someone hits the “reply to all”… Then the flood gates are open. So, ask yourself this question, Does all these people care about what I am about to send?

How would you like to see this…

I was looking at the headlines this morning and saw “80-core Processor”…???....??? After wiping the drool from my chin, I read further.

"Intel has built its 80-core processor as part of a research project, but don't expect it on your desktop any time soon. The company's CTO, Justin Rattner, held a demonstration of the chip for a group of reports last week. Intel will be presenting a paper on the project at the International Solid State Circuits Conference in San Francisco this week. 'The chip is capable of producing 1 trillion floating-point operations per second, known as a teraflop. That's a level of performance that required 2,500 square feet of large computers a decade ago. Intel first disclosed it had built a prototype 80-core processor during last fall's Intel Developer Forum, when CEO Paul Otellini promised to deliver the chip within five years.'" -slashdot

Now, I just have to wait 5 years for it… That is okay though, it would probably take me 5 years of saving my pennies to afford this beefy of a machine.